January 2012
My future child and I.
Child: Daddy, I don't like that "black metal" stuff.
Me: Stop being a faggot and put your spikes back on. Now, help daddy burn this church.
Fuck Yeah Demetri Martin!: Break Up Lines →
Do you believe in love at first sight?…How about misery after three years?
That shirt looks good on you. You know what else would look good on you? My friend Dave, I think you should go out with him.
Is it hot in here, or are you just suffocating me in this relationship?
When I’m with you I…
